March - April 2004 Newsletter

Isaiah 46:4 ... Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you.

This page is a tribute to the elderly in general. Herewith, I also want to show my deep respect, gratitude and affection to the hundreds of elderly I have met in my life, especially during my position as nurse, Long-Term Care Specialist, Co-ordinator of Community Senior Services and Executive Director of the Hospice.

I have done thorough research on aging, dying and death, and have written several papers on the subject for study and work projects. I have been a member of the Planning Committee with the local Health Council, Council on Aging and Home Support for the Elderly to advocate for and support the elderly to assure improvement of services and of living conditions at home and in the institution.

Many of these elderly have made a long lasting impression on my life that has shaped me into the person I am at present. Over nearly 15 years, I have developed a great compassion for them while I worked and walked with them. They shared with me their life, their joy, but also their psychological and emotional hurts, their losses, their frustrations, their bitterness, their sorrow and their tears.

I've met them, I've touched them, I've held their hand, rubbed their back, listened to their stories and cried with them. I've dried their tears and I've prayed with many of them. Only God knows what I have seen, heard and experienced with the elderly.

One day I was walking with Mr. Hill down the hall of an institution. He was an elderly man of about 84 years old, who was slightly confused. He was holding the railing with one hand and with the other he was hanging unto my hand. We were on our way to the lounge when Mr. Hill asked me what cruiser line this was. Right away I caught on that the railing in the hall reminded him of a cruising ship he had been on, a long time ago. I didn't want to interrupt his memories and said to him: "So... and what kind of cruiser were you on?" He told me then all about his trip to Europe. By then we had arrived at the lounge where we sat down on the couch. Mr. Hill was still holding my hand and put his and mine on his lap, while quietly looking outside. After a while of sitting there holding hands, I carefully pulled my hand away, as I needed to get other things done. He looked at me with big eyes and said: "You're not going yet, are you? You're not leaving me here alone?" Something got caught in my throat as I heard him plead, and I realized how much he needed my company. My eyes started to swell when I finally got the words out: "I will be back shortly, Mr. Hill."

You may not realize that patients/residents on the Long-term Care floor, in the Nursing Home or the Home for the Aged had to give up their familiar surroundings, their keepsakes, their personal treasures and pets to come to these places. They are stripped, overnight, of nearly everything, including neighbours and friends. No wonder they wet their pants because they have become disoriented and confused, and therefore cannot find the bathroom. Not the other way around. No wonder some of them hang onto last years Christmas cards, for it is ALL they have. Please, NEVER, clean up their drawers or throw anything away without their knowledge and approval. Rather, place yourself in their shoes and show empathy and love.

One afternoon, while working in the hospital, Mary asked me to cut her fingernails. Mary was an elderly patient who was bedridden. I said to her that her nails were recently cut and could go for another few days. She responded with: "Don't nails still keep on growing a bit after one dies?" I said: "Yes, they do, but what has this to do with your nails?" Well, she said, I think I'm going to die soon. By then I walked to the door of her room and closed it as I felt she wanted to talk more about it. In the mean time I got the clippers out and while I was doing her nails we conversed about her soon coming death. I introduced her to the Gift of God and eternal life through Jesus Christ. She was receptive and I then read to her Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. I prayed with her and Mary died within 48 hours.

At times I had a real revival going on when I worked the evening shifts. One night, after I put some familiar older Hymns on the tape deck, God's Spirit fell on some of the Long-Term Care patients in such a way that I had to close the door to their room, for they were "loudly" praising God. The head nurse, not knowing what was going on, asked me if she needed to give some of the patients a needle to keep them calm. "No, that's okay, I can handle them", was my reply, and I said quietly to myself: "HALLELUJAH, PRAISE GOD!"

Many of these patients have been starving for spiritual food and were neglected by family and their pastor. People often think because the patient is confused she doesn't need to hear about God's word. How wrong they are. I can testify that even the most confused patient will respond to God's word, Hymns and the love of God distributed by other believers. I have even seen them come out of confusion as God's word brought freedom to them that are trapped in a decaying body and mind.

Dear friend, my work became my Mission for God and not one day passed or I proclaimed the name of the Lord in word or in song, touching the lives of many elderly. Please, remember when you look at them that they're not only "old", but that they carry within them their childhood, teenage years and adult life. All these years of accumulated experiences, good and bad, are enclosed in this one person, the elderly. They are young and old at the same time, NOT just old.

Many of them suffer in silence and are withdrawn. It has become hard for them to express their feelings to others. They have lost interest in and the need for their peer group. The elderly are the least homogeneous group of all other age groups. Many are dying alone and without God. Although they may have been Church goers at one time, not all know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. And they that are believers often have not been stimulated in their faith, due to spiritual negligence.

If you do go and visit the elderly at their home, nursing home or hospital, allow them time to gain their confidence in you. After they come to trust you, please, make sure you share with them the love of God and His word. You'll soon find out how hungry they are and how much they have been starved of spiritual food.

How successful an individual adjusts to aging depends on many factors which influence one's life. Throughout our lifespan there are developmental processes by which we change or alter our behavior and thought life. Time and experience are our teachers!!

With the right stimulation and the positive attitude from our parents and the environment we lived in, we will have learned to solve problems and to adjust in the developmental stages, from infancy to early childhood. Through continuous experiences and interactions with people around us we will have adjusted or maladjusted to the next developmental stages of teenage, adolescence, adulthood, middle age and old age.

We react differently now to situations than we did when we were children. We (supposed to) have learned how to react appropriately; how to behave and not misbehave; how to listen; how to obey etc...

It is not my intention to give you the psychological point of view on adjusting or maladjusting in developmental stages. For according to God's Word we cannot blame anyone else but ourselves for mistakes, errors, sins, bad habits, bad attitudes, unholiness etc. We are made responsible for our own life and sin. Even if we did have a bad childhood, terrible teenage years or lived in an abusive situation during our marriage, we are the ones who should seek the face of the Lord, get right with God and bring all our cares to Him.

Romans 3:23....For all have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God. Circumstances differ for each individual, but all can share the same experience; as they cry out to God in their need, He hears and answers. And all have equal cause to praise Him. Read ALL of Psalm 107.

You may say... well that is easier said than done...or....if you just knew what I had gone through....or... maybe you did have a better life than I had......or....I have nobody who really loves me....etc..etc. That may all be well and true, but God is the SAME. He has not changed ?

Psalm 56:22.... Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
What He did for Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Peter, Paul and even for me, HE will do for you. Please, read my "Testimony", then you can see for yourself that my life was not all that desirable. But, what He says in His Word He will do. You have to believe His promises and you have to be obedient to the Word!!! No matter the circumstances, He can do the IMPOSSIBLE.
Praise His wonderful Name!!!

Psalm 16:8-11.... I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope. For You will not leave my soul in Sheol (the abode of the dead). Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 17: 7b.... Oh You who save those who trust in You from those who rise up against them.

Psalm 39:4-5.... Lord, make me to know my end, and what is the measure of my days, that I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my age is as nothing before You.

Let us focus more and more on things that really matter in this life. Keep a continuous contact with God, the Father, through Jesus Christ. Learn to lean on His word, apply it to your life and pass it on to them around you. Be a mirror of God's word and may people reflect themselves in it. Have your roots deep in God as a mature tree, stable and unmovable. Rejoice in your God, and Maker and enjoy His word as is written below.

As you grow older your mind takes you into the past - to the good old days. You were full of energy then and you tackled things you would consider now impossible. You never thought about retiring or old age.

The following prayer of an elderly lady is worth re-peating:

"Lord, Thou knowest I am growing older.
Keep me from the idea that I must express myself on every subject.
Release me from the craving to meddle in everyone's affairs.
Keep my tongue from recital of endless details of the past which do not
interest others. Seal my lips when I'm inclined to talk about my aches and pains.
They are increasing with the years, and my love to speak of them grows
sweeter as time goes by. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally
I may be wrong. Make me thoughtful, but not interfering; helpful, but not bossy.
With the wisdom and experience I've gained, it does seem a pity not
to use it all, but thou knowest, Lord that I want a few friends left at the end.
So help me pray more, talk less. And beyond all this, let me continue to
flourish spiritually and bring forth fruit to Thy glory even in old age. Amen!"

Let me grow lovely growing old as many fine things do.
For silks, ivory and gold need not be always new;
and there is healing in old trees, old streets a glamour hold.
So why not I, as well as they, grow lovely growing old?

Anonymous.

May the Lord's face shine upon you and keep you until the day of His Return.

Copyright Dr.Trudy Veerman, 2002